Feelin' Like a Dump Truck

Anybody know what kind of Toad this is?

It’s been a while.  Can’t help snickering about it, though.  I’m not alone.  The postings on personal blogs that I keep up with – and vice versa – look like a piece of Swiss Cheese.

I only hope some of us are lucky enough to get some real swiss cheese going along - in the middle of all the overwhelming additions to the lists of tasks we’ve all been facing.

If it’s not the weather – it’s the economy.  Or – in our case – add ‘ bad weeds of the 2-legged kind ‘ to the list and put a check mark beside ‘ all the above. ‘

At any rate – if you are reading this post – you should understand it was meant to be – for one specific reason.

You need to know – I’m existing with my waders on just as much as you.  And we may never have sat at a table together and swapped chit-chat while emptying a pot of coffee.  But – you’re included in my thoughts and my never-ending conversations with God.

I may have been between points A and B with 2 buckets of grain or water while looking up at the sky and doing a bit of yelling.  But it’s all been for your benefit as much as everyone else needing God to come down here and start smacking some situations back into proper shape.

I had to go in for the nerve conduction test on both my hands and arms yesterday. First – it was the stimulation.  And then came those dad-gum needles.  And the electricity.

And I flunked.  Big time.  I have to have both hands operated on for Carpal Tunnel.  And my Doctor wasn’t too happy about the results.  Apparently – the level of the problem in both hands is pretty severe – which she was already suspecting.  I’m waiting for the Surgeon’s office to contact me for scheduling the first surgery.

I went through one of these same tests in 2000.  The tech wasn’t able to complete the testing.  I must give her credit for having enough intelligence to figure some math on one more attempt at sticking with me with one of those needles.

Three days passed by – and I was still wishing I had decked that wench.

However – I decided to prepare for this round.  Thank God.  I talked with Dwayne.  And I told him that there was only 1 way I’d go through with the nightmare.  Once I got out of that lab – he was to take me to the nearest place that would tickle my fancy enough with THE Perfect Margarita.  And I didn’t care how early in the damn morning it might be!

Kids get suckers and Ice Cream.  This wench wanted a Margarita.  A real one.  The biggest they could make.  I knew I was gonna earn one - without a doubt.

And nobody was gonna get what they wanted until that deal was made!

I think my Doctor is beginning to see the physical mess I am.  She knew I’d done everything I could manage - to avoid having that test done on me.  She met me halfway.  She offered to give me a prescription for a couple of sedatives.  I would take 1 about an hour before the procedure.  The second was for ‘ just in case ’ anything went haywire – time - rescheduling – whatever.

I took that sedative about a half-hour before my appointment – which turned out to be smart.  Ya’ never know how long you’re gonna be sitting in the waiting room.  Right?.?.

Long story short…

I don’t remember finishing the test.  I had to ask Dwayne where we had lunch.  I don’t remember what I ate for lunch.  Neither does Dwayne.  But I’m sure he had other things on his mind at the time.

However – I will.  Never.  Forget.  That Margarita.  Big Margarita!  She even brought me a little flask filled with the leftovers!

Imagine my surprise when I went to download photos off my phone…

And found this one!  I don’t even remember taking this photo!  HA!

I did not leave 1 single drop behind.

Dwayne told me it wasn’t even lunch time.  But I do remember some men at a table next to us.  Sounded like they were having a brunch meeting – talking loud.  I remember looking over at ‘em a couple times.  They were already looking at me – while trying to talk to each other.

They’re not accustomed to seeing grown women drinking Margaritas before noon here – in East Tennessee.  Part of the Bible Belt.

Dwayne must have felt pretty safe about dragging me around in public.  I asked him if I ever got out of line during any time of the day.  He said, ‘ no. ’

We even stopped off at Home Depot - in Lenoir City – and picked up a whole bunch of stuff for the yard.  We enjoyed a conversation with the Cashier while we were checking out.

And I don’t remember any of it.

Won't be long before they're ready for making jelly.

I have been trying to do all I can – to cram getting as much as possible done around here before I have to have the first surgery.  Because I have no idea what in Hell is gonna happen when I can’t handle things around here for a few months.

( Left to Right ) Dodger and Stormie

This crap’s gonna happen right in the middle of weaning calves – getting them halter and lead trained.  Hell – they haven’t even been dehorned or banded yet.

The garden is gonna start spitting out stuff needing to be canned.  I’ve got 22 chickens that are gonna start laying their eggs that will – no doubt – be fertilized by the 2 Roos we got in the mess of chicks we bought.

Killian and Patty are going to Butcher come the end of July.

It’s all so overwhelming that I have finally just given up.  Whatever I can’t get done beforehand – just won’t get done.  Dwayne has to work 12-hour shifts during the night shift now.  And he’s not gonna be able to handle all that – plus – all my stuff.

SOME things ya' just can't get rid of...

And I’m at the point right now where – I have no doubt – God is responsible for pulling some memories of my past to the forefront.

“ I’ll get Teresa ta’ do it. “

“ Teresa, could you… “

“ Teresa, would you… “

“ Teresa, I need…. Can you… “

Thank you, God.  At least I know YOU’RE watching.  I know that YOU know everything.  And I know that this is YOUR way of helping me feel peace in my heart when I just… let go and hand it all over to you.

You make it so easy for me to dump each one of ‘em that were never told – ‘ no ‘ - into your hands.

Being incapacitated and carrying my faith in YOU while I walk through this mess will leave me with every opportunity to sit back and just – watch YOU do YOUR job at being THE FATHER that THEY can’t hide or get away from.

Thank You, Lord.

Amen.